Poll #4298 They jennies spared.
Open to: All, results viewable to: All

"Kanye West is a jackass."

Equus africanus asinus

The most fortunate in all of this is...

The downside of this is...

Current Mood: curious

Garrison Keillor has, finally, gotten into a hospital for treatment of a stroke. He's been on a waiting list for some time, clearly having had the attack November 2000.

Current Mood: mischievous

Water is still wet.

Current Mood: mischievous

Pop star Michael Jackson is still dead.

Current Mood: mischievous

What's all the fuss about over some documentary about guys who make or repair portable timepieces?

Current Mood: mischievous

Poll #2870 At least the shoe wasn't lit.
Open to: All, results viewable to: All

As of this date (16 December 2008) George W. Bush is...

Current Mood: mischievous

Let's play Global Thermonuclear War.

Current Mood: silly

"Any sufficiently analyzed magic is indistinguishable from science!"

Current Mood: giggly

The poll I posted last night has drawn some interesting results. In the truly bizarre and most unlikely event that I should gain an Electoral majority as (near?) complete unknown who'd have to be as write-in, some would be appropriately concerned about it happened. Others would be celebrating, though I suspect some of those would use any reason to celebrate or to imbibe.

But the most interesting were the requests for political appointment. As of the writing of this post I potentially have:

- an Attorney General (LJ: michaelmink)
- a Federal Aviation administrator (jmaynard)
- a Secretary of Transportation (LJ: sideband)
- a United Nations ambassador unencumbered by diplomatic nonspeak (LJ: nefaria)

I'd need a few more to fill out the cabinet at least. While I could suggest some folks for some positions, it might be more amusing to open it to suggestion, which includes self-nomination.

The cabinet positions (including those mentioned above) are:

Secretary of State
Secretary of the Treasury
Secretary of Defense
Attorney General
Secretary of the Interior
Secretary of Agriculture
Secretary of Commerce
Secretary of Labor
Secretary of Health and Human Services
Secretary of Housing and Urban Development
Secretary of Transportation
Secretary of Energy
Secretary of Education
Secretary of Veterans Affairs
Secretary of Homeland Security

Oh, there are also these spots to fill:

White House Chief of Staff
Administrator of the Environmental Protection Agency
Director of the Office of Management and Budget
Director of the National Drug Control Policy
United States Trade Representative

Whew, and that's just the way upper level stuff.

Who ought to get what?

Current Mood: mischievous

While walking down the street one day a "Member of Congress" is tragically hit by a truck and dies.

His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in," says the man.

"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."

"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," he says.

"I'm sorry, but we have our rules."

And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.

Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.

They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.

Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly & nice guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go.

Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises...

The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.

"Now it's time to visit heaven."

So, 24 hours pass with him joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

"Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity."

He reflects for a minute, then he answers: "Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell."

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.

Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage.

He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.

The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. "I don't understand. Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?"

( Punchline )

Current Mood: quixotic

Poll #2535 Election Presults
Open to: All, results viewable to: All

I would like to see:

I expect to see:

If I could, I'd rather vote for:

Current Mood: blah

Since it's October and Halloween is nearing, let's see what the scariest things are:

Poll #2470
Open to: All, results viewable to: All

The scariest is...

The scariest is...

The scariest is...

The scariest is...

Poll #2442
Open to: All, results viewable to: None

Barack Obama is...

Nucular

Current Mood: mischievious

Whatever you might think of McCain's VP selection, certain things just shouldn't be taken too seriously. The Sarah Palin Facts site, for instance.

Current Mood: amused

Reality can be a mighty strange place. Or people can be mighty silly. Or the one leads to the other.

There is, or at least was, a group calling itself "Recreate '68" pushing an antiwar agenda. What amuses me is that they scheduled things around the Democrat's Convention in Denver. Luckily for Denver, the 1968 Democrat's Convention was not re-created. But don't they realize what else happened in 1968? Humphrey lost.

Current Mood: amused

I've only been to county fairs, never to any state fairs. Thus I have not been to the Minnesota State Fair. I do know that food on a stick is common, and that Minnesota takes it quite a ways (hotdish on stick?). So when there is to be an anthology of murder mysteries set at the Minnesota State Fair, there could be only one name for it: Murder on a Stick.

Current Mood: amused

Poll #2241
Open to: All, results viewable to: All

Just how drunk is a skunk?

Current Mood: silly

From a comment on a post (not mine) on novelty tunes:

Recently heard someone from Fermilab sing this:

“Do your particles lose their flavor in the chamber overnight?"
"Do they enter with a left hand spin and exit with a right?"

Current Mood: amused

Sure, I've seen the foods list. It had a few drinks in it as well. But that's just two phases of matter, solid and liquid. This will help to complete the set. This is not a list of things you should try. There are some gases that are very much not recommended.

( Did you get wind of it? )

Current Mood: mischievous